"What makes men so great? Well, for one, all the urges men have are obviously just so, so fantastic. You know those little biological and primal impulses men have that take over their entire psyches and dictate their every action? The ones that they are seemingly powerless to control or deny, even though society is repeatedly pleading with them to? Boy, those are just nothing short of our very favorite things. After all, we couldn’t have a world where, God forbid, men are somehow not acting on their basest animal urges at any given moment. That would be awful! And isn’t it just grand how men are able to act on those urges without even the slightest regard for the well-being of others? Yes, indeed, you can try your hardest to talk him out of it, but when a man is set on doing something—and trust us on this one, we speak from experience!—there’s no way you can change his mind. Talk about drive and determination! What a gender! And men just live in the moment, you know? They don’t hesitate or waste time thinking about the moral and ethical consequences of, say, oh, I don’t know, tying three human beings up in a basement for a decade and subjecting them to near-constant psychosexual abuse, for example. They don’t burden themselves with worrying about whether something like that is legal or ethical or humane. Or whether or not they are pitiless monsters who should have killed themselves years ago. No, sir, they see something they want, and they’re not afraid to just take it. Honestly, you have to admire that about men. We sure do!"